A Whole Lotta Love

Adding romance to your relationship

Romance is easy and it comes naturally in the first days of the relationship. But over time, the attraction somewhat wanes and the two partners begin to take each other for granted. The problem is, fading romance also takes sex with it – but not if you put in the effort to seduce your partner regularly, no matter how long you’ve been together. It keeps the romance and passion in your relationship alive.

Set a date night: Practice setting time aside every week just for the two of you, for a date night. You can take turns choosing the date, so that both partners can work at keeping things fresh. Or you could slot a regular day of the week – say, Tuesday – for your date night. This chosen day is non-negotiable. If you make this a priority, you can begin to set your relationship on the right course. If it works, you could pick a date night every month instead of every week.

Listen: You remember the long conversations and sharing of many secrets and interests in the early days of your relationship. All of it seems to have gone now; you’ve switched off and often cannot remember why you fell for your partner in the first place. Now is the time to catch up with all the lost conversations, and more importantly, by respecting your partner and paying attention to every word they say. Listening carefully and remembering the conversation later helps you catch up with each other and grow together.

Spend time apart: This seems like counterproductive advice if you’re trying to bring the spark back into your relationship, but it really works. If you live together and are with each other all the time, you soon begin to feel like you know what your partner is about to do and say – and this breeds boredom. Instead, cultivate friends and interests that are not shared mutually between you two, balancing your social time together and apart so that both of you can find each other exciting even several years later.

Make every day romantic: It is fine to save your store of romance for birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day, but you end up putting too much pressure on yourself to make the day perfect. So why not invest a little time every day in making your partner feel special? You could leave a note on their pillow telling them you love them, or cook their favourite meal, or stop to appreciate how they look in their new outfit. A little romance often leads to a whole lot of love.

Compromise: Being romantic does not always mean you splurge on roses and chocolates. Sometimes it also involves letting your partner get their way without feeling any rancour. This is the most romantic gesture of all – but only if it goes both ways!