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How to fight sexual boredom

Leaf through any lifestyle magazine and you will find the most common question there: 'How can I keep the spark alive in my marriage/relationship?’ The term 'happily ever after' is a lovely fairy tale ending that most of us seek. But in reality, most couples struggle to keep the passion going over a long term relationship. Soon, disenchantment seeps in. You could try these techniques to keep boredom away:

Look after your own needs too. Putting the lover or partner first seems like the way to go for many people. But this total absorption of what the other person wants can actually make your partner feel trapped. It is a big turn-off to be in the spotlight all the time. Being independent and secure will make you more desirable in your partner’s eyes.

Look after your lover. The early days of the relationship are all about being attentive to your partner. But once you are together and your lover’s heart is yours, you might tend to take them for granted. Let them feel desired and loved again – seduce them, shower them with praise, get them little gifts, give them foot rubs…just pay them attention and make them feel good.

Be active. The loss of your libido could be a result of your busy lifestyle. Try exercising together – it will make your heart pump faster and get you both fitter for the job.

Be healthy. A poor diet, binge drinking, substance abuse, lack of deep sleep and lack of exercise can all wreak havoc with your libido.

Kiss. A kiss is often how a relationship begins its physical journey. But the excitement and passion of a kiss wane over time. It is important to kiss often, because when you do, you bring yourself really close to your partner’s pheromones (the sexual attraction chemicals). These boost desire and arousal.

Show yourself off. Work on your body and pamper it so that you are always well-groomed and never sloppy, especially in front of your partner.

Mix it up. Couples explore each other endlessly in the early days of their relationship, but once they are together for a longish period of time, they have found what works and the interest begins to taper off. Infuse new life into your stagnant relationship: try new sex positions, get new toys, explore different foreplay techniques or introduce kink to the equation.

Change roles. Every relationship has a dominant partner and a passive one. Try swapping roles once in a while – if you are the aggressor, let your lover make the first move in bed. Or if your partner is usually the more dominant one, surprise them by pouncing first!

Share fantasies. The best sex combines the brain as well as the body, so engage both with each other for some bedroom fireworks.

Be romantic. Sex is not just about desire; it is about love. The more you love and know your partner, the more sexually honest you can be. When you remember this, sex gets better every day.

Try new positions, different foreplay techniques or introduce a bit of kink to the equation.