Breadcrumbs

Men and their virginity: More emotional than physical

Loss of virginity does not physically affect a man the way it does a woman. For most men, it is a rite of passage into manhood.

When we speak of somebody losing their virginity, our mind often skips to the female half of the equation. Very rarely does one address the issue of boys’ virginity, and what it means for a man to lose his virginity. This could be because a man does not experience any physical changes after the first sexual encounter – a woman loses her hymen and bleeds a little during first time sex, but a man does not experience any bleeding or pain.

For most men, losing their virginity is a rite of passage into manhood. The curiosity about sex begins in the teenage years, when most boys experience their first erection and start experiencing feelings of attraction towards the opposite sex. To be honest, most men cannot wait to lose their virginity – not always to be able to brag to their friends about it, but to get a big boost of confidence in themselves. Modern society places a big premium on boys getting older and ‘getting lots of action’, and young men who are virgins may often become the butt of jokes. However, some cultures place an even higher premium on men and women remaining virgins till they are married.

For many boys, it’s a load off when they finally lose their virginity. While it is not something to obsess over, most men will agree that their first sexual experience was more about ticking off an item from their life list than any lasting feelings of love towards their partner. That’s not to say that men who have their first sexual encounter are devoid of any finer feelings, or that they do not care for their partners at all. Most men are extremely sensitive to their partners’ feelings during first time sex, and they should be – a woman is often more apprehensive about bleeding and pain during sex. Besides, her lack of virginity becomes obvious to her sexual partners, while a man’s lack of virginity is not apparent at all.

However, this modern mind-set that boys’ virginity is a cross to bear and they must lose it quickly to prove their manly credentials, can often push young boys into sex when they are least prepared for it. Sex is, after all, both a physical and emotional engagement. Intense peer pressure to lose their virginity can result in flawed ideas about sex, and even performance issues during the act – leading to emotional trauma. And it is wrong to believe that a man is unaffected by sex – no man ever forgets his first sexual experience! So before losing one’s virginity, it is important to have healthy expectations from the experience and proceed with it only when one is ready