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Sex before marriage: The things to remember

We compile a list of 4 things to remember when you are thinking of having sex before marriage.

Sex is a sacred topic in all cultures around the world. But some cultures place a higher premium on sex and virginity than others do. In India, for example, pre-marital sex is frowned upon and parents expect their children to maintain their virginity till they get married. However, many couples today are opting to have sex before marriage.

However, the first time one has sex is a time fraught with tremendous anxiety and insecurities. Conditioned to believe that sex must be had only with your marital partner, you might think several times before going ahead and having sex with your current partner. Even if you believe that sex before marriage is no big deal, there are still some things to consider about the entire act, such as:

1 - Are you emotionally ready for it? Sex is not just a meeting of two bodies – it is first and foremost, a meeting of minds. Sex is great only when there is an emotional connection with your partner, otherwise it is just an activity that you ‘get over with’ in the heat of the moment. It can be a beautiful, enriching experience if you both feel ready to take your relationship to the next level, so examining your feelings about it is important.

2 - Do you trust your partner? If you are about to have sex with your partner for the first time, you must ask yourself if you know them well enough to take this step. If you are doing it because your partner is pressuring you to do it, or if you are willing to go ahead even without a condom because your partner dislikes them, then you are making a mistake. On the other hand, if your partner is planning on take your relationship to the next level, so examining your feelings about it is important.

3 - Are you doing it because everyone is doing it?  Peer pressure plays a big role in sex before marriage. It is possible that your entire group of friends has had sex. It is possible that you are the oldest virgin in the neighborhood. But having sex before marriage just to prove a point to your friends is a bad idea. If you have the slightest reservations about it, it is better not to do it at all.

4 - Do you equate sex with marriage?  It is fine if you believe in ‘saving yourself’ for your marital partner. Your beliefs are your own and you have every right to hold on to them. If you believe that having sex before marriage is wrong, then it is better to wait because you won’t enjoy the experience anyway.