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How to Fight Sexual Boredom

One of the most common letters sent to problem pages is, 'How can I keep the spice alive in my relationship?' While 'happily ever after' is a lovely fairytale ending, in reality, most couples struggle to keep things passionate long term. Try these techniques to help blast boredom away.

  1. Look after your own needs too. Many people absorb themselves into a relationship putting their lover's needs first. While it may seem counter-intuitive, this can be a massive turn off, and make a lover feel trapped. If you're happy, independent and secure you'll be a lot more desirable.
  2. Look after your lover. In the early days, people tend to woo each other. Once you've 'won' your partner's heart, it's easy to take it for granted. Seduce your lover, whether with praise, small thoughtful gifts, foot rubs or whatever else makes them feel good.
  3. Be active. Loss of libido is often linked to lifestyle. Exercising together will get your blood pumping and make you fit for the job,
  4. Be healthy. Poor diet, drinking, drugs (legal and illegal) lack of sleep and general lack of fitness will all make the libido flag.
  5. Kiss. Most relationships start with a lot of kissing but this often wanes over time. When you kiss, you are bringing yourself up close and personal with your partner's pheromones – sexual attraction chemicals; which will boost desire.
  6. Show yourself off. Pamper your body so you're as well-groomed as you were in those first dates – and flaunt it in flattering undies.
  7. Mix it up. Couples tend to explore a lot in the early days but once you've found what works, it can be easy to get stuck in a rut. Try new positions, devices, different foreplay techniques or introduce a bit of kink to the equation: or indeed, all the above.
  8. Change roles: Many people fall into being either the active or passive partner in sex. Swap places – if you usually initiate sex, urge your lover to make the first move. And if your partner leads the way, pounce on them instead.
  9. Share fantasies. Great sex involves the brain as well as the body so engage yours.
  10. Be romantic. Sex and love work together. The more you know your lover, the more sexually honest you can be. Remember this and there's no reason sex shouldn't get better with every passing day.

"Try new positions, different foreplay techniques or introduce a bit of kink to the equation"