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Sex and Disability

Common stereotypes busted


Society harbours many misconceptions about the disabled. Many people feel that disabled people are not capable of/interested in sex – this is not true! Despite a disability, it is possible and natural to have sexual desires. Disabled persons can have satisfying sex lives, too. The following are some common myths about disability and sex:

  1. Disabled people aren't sexual: The media seldom portrays disabled people as strong, sexual beings. In reality, each person has the capacity to feel sexual desire, whether disabled or not. As a disabled person, do not be afraid to express your desires: a friend or caregiver may be able to help you find the right outlet for your feelings.
  2. Disabled people can't use sex toys: There is a wide variety of sex toys available, including some that cater to the physically disabled. These have larger buttons that are easier to press, long handles and even remote controls.
  3. Disabled people aren't sexy: Society makes it hard on the disabled to find a partner and even feel desirable. But the Internet offers many opportunities to connect with different people. If you want to date somebody but they are put off by your disability, it speaks more about their attitude than you. They’re not worth spending any more time over.
  4. Disabilities hamper orgasm: Unless one’s disability limits or prevents climax and/or ejaculation, disability does not have an effect on sexual desire and performance. Besides, there are different orgasms to be had. Experiment with tantric sex to explore your orgasm potential and which areas of your body are more sensitive and erogenous. You can even use powerful vibrators and electro-stim devices (toys that shoot electric pulses instead of simple vibration) if you have limited sensation or a reduced libido.
  5. Sex can't be spontaneous if you're disabled: While certain types of disabilities may certainly limit movement and certain positions, you can discuss what is possible with your partner to get a better sexual experience. Foreplay isn't always about actually touching the body: it also involves dirty talk and sharing fantasies. Besides, you can have foreplay over the phone or even online.
  6. Disabled people are too innocent for sex: Some people feel that having sex with a disabled person is like ‘taking advantage’ or being abusive. This is not true. If the disabled person has the normal mental faculties of another adult of their age, and if they want to have sex with a willing partner, they have nothing to worry about.

Trying to find a sexual partner and exploring their sexuality can be difficult and depressing for disabled people. The good news is that there are many support groups that counsel the disabled through these areas. Never be afraid to ask for help when it comes to sexual help – because every person deserves to experience the joy of sex.


"If someone is put off by your disability, it says more about them than it does about you."