American films and TV shows often depict orgasms as easy and simultaneous. The reality is different, however. Many women often struggle to climax during sex, while others find that they orgasm too soon. Some women do not orgasm unless manually or orally stimulated. An orgasm is often a complicated response, but the going is easier if you understand what is happening. Consider the following common orgasm-related issues women face:
Lack of orgasm: This can have either a physical or psychological cause, but it could also be as simple as a lack of foreplay. Some women report being unable to self-lubricate despite foreplay. Others simply do not feel sexual desire. These are signs that you are not ready to have sex with your partner. It can also be a response to certain traumatic sexual situations you have faced in the past, or an underlying medical condition. Don’t stress about it if it happens occasionally. If it happens often, you may need to see your doctor.
Vaginismus: This is a condition that causes the vaginal muscles to tighten such that penile penetration is painful or impossible. It can be caused by both physical or psychological reasons. But there are many ways to treat it, so just make a doctor’s appointment.
Excessive wetness/orgasm: Some women experience very early orgasms or too much wetness during foreplay. Too much lubrication can cause slipperiness and lack of friction during penetration, thus ruining the experience for both partners. You can wipe off the excess, but do leave some on because it necessary for painless sex. You can try doing Kegel exercises to tone and tighten the vaginal muscles, which will help both of you ‘feel more’ during intercourse.
Clitoral sensitivity: Some women’s clitoris is extra sensitive to the touch, and some have a too-sensitive clitoris after intercourse. In such cases, it is better to have sex in the rear entry positions such as doggy style, and indirectly stimulating the woman by cupping the pubic mound, or licking the labia but not the clitoris. If there is pain during sex, it is your body’s way of telling you that something’s wrong, so do see your doctor.
Pain is your body's warning signal, so if it's ongoing, see a doctor and get checked out.