Marriage Sex Advice

Your (inexperienced) friend needs all the advice they can get about having sex after marriage. Here are ways to broach the subject and give them the right information.

A friend getting married sets off a series of events – helping with the preparations, meeting both families, rehearsing for the wedding…in the midst of this, you also need to sit your friend down and give them some marriage sex advice. You could be a married person yourself and your friend a complete novice at sex, so any advice you can dispense will hold tremendous value. If you are wondering what to discuss, here are a few pointers:

1 - Talk about consent.  If your friend’s potential spouse is not known to them, the wedding night can be tough. There is tremendous pressure to consummate the marriage. On the other hand, having sex with an unknown partner is a big challenge. Tell your friend to discuss the matter beforehand with their partner. Sex is wonderful when it is consensual –  and the exact opposite when it is done only to maintain appearances. 

2 - Safety is important.   On the other hand, both partners may be willing to have sex as soon as they are married, but it is better to have safe sex from the first night itself. Though both may be in a monogamous relationship with each other, there is no point in having sex without protection and inviting unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Besides, intimacy is further enhanced with safe sex, since one is more relaxed and can enjoy the act more.

3 - It’s about building a connection first.   Even when both partners know each other well, there may be an invisible barrier that has prevented them from having sex so far. It is possible that both partners decided to wait to have sex till after the wedding. But before they rush into things, an honest talk on the subject helps. A frank discussion of concerns and fears – albeit with some nervous laughter – can make the subject less threatening than before, and pave the way for their first sexual experience. 

4 - Sexual compatibility is important.  There is such a thing as ‘sexual chemistry’ and it may take a while to find the right  chemistry with their partner – so tell your friend to relax and go with the flow. It pays to be receptive to their own and their partner’s needs – this makes sex more rewarding and enjoyable. On the other hand, it’s a problem if one partner insists on something diametrically opposite to what the other likes. An honest conversation and trying different things can solve this issue.

5 - It’s a big deal – but not the whole deal.  The biggest bit of marriage sex advice that you can give your friend is that marriage is not about sex alone. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work, and sex is only one part of the entire equation.