The dos and don'ts of casual sex

Relationships can be great for the mind and body, but sometimes, you feel like you’re not in a space where you want intense sex that ‘means something’ to you. You might be more focussed on your career or social life than finding a special someone. That’s fine – sex does not have to come with conditions. But a little thought and consideration can make even casual sex fun.

Protect Yourself: Every new partner may bring new health risks. Not using a condom is just asking for trouble, and even an unplanned baby. And oral sex carries the risk of sexually transmitted infections, too. So please wear condoms.

Look and Learn: Some STIs reveal themselves with inflammation, painful intercourse and sores. Condoms cannot protect you against all STIs, so it is best to use your mind before you use your body.  If you have the slightest doubt of an STI, do not have sex till you get yourself checked.

Get Tested Regularly: Many STIs don't show any symptoms, and getting tested is the only way to get a clean bill of health. Do so regularly.

Wear an Emotional Condom: Some people seek sex to feel loved and validated, and sleeping around with multiple partners is hardly going to provide the comfort they seek. If it’s just an orgasm you want, go ahead and pleasure yourself – you’ll get what you want minus the heartache! Stick to casual sex if it doesn’t get your heart broken.

Protect Your Reputation: You may choose to have consensual casual sex with multiple partners, but society is likely to judge you for it. It pays to think about your choices as well, especially when friends say that they are concerned about you.

Stay Safe: Avoid going home with a person you’ve just met. If you’re hooking up later, tell a friend where you’re going, what your date’s name is and when you will be back home. Don’t invite a stranger back to your apartment. You might find your phone and cash gone the next morning – or face a worse fate.

Be Honest: Never lie to get somebody into bed. It is unfair on the other person and can give you a bad reputation, a tearful or furious ex, and a whole lot of complication that is best avoided.

Choose Carefully: Better, more meaningful sex comes from knowing a person for a fair bit of time. You are more likely to have trust and affection for a person you know than a rank stranger. But if you’re just looking for a casual fling, do not have sex with a person who is in love with you – it will only devastate them when you move on.

Respect your lover: Casual sex is all about spontaneity and having fun, and for both people to get as much out of it as they can – within boundaries of respect.

Respect Yourself: If you have casual sex without denting your self-esteem or feeling guilt afterwards, it means it works for you. Having sex that makes you feel bad afterwards is not healthy, so you might need to rethink your choices.

"Casual sex is about both people having fun so make sure they get as much out of it as you do."