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10 First-Night Sex Tips for an Unforgettable Evening
So the big day is approaching, or shall we say big night — first night sex? And here’s a momentous occasion for you: wedding night sex as a married couple. How are you feeling? Nervous? Excited? Jittery? It is entirely normal to feel that. The only thing you shouldn’t feel is clueless or scared.
Regardless of what you know about first-night sex or however many stories you’ve heard, this guide will lay out the facts.
So grab your favourite brew, find a comfy spot and let’s explore how to prepare for first-night sex and turn it into an evening to remember.
In this article :
Explore Sex
Preparation for that special evening begins several evenings before that one.
Let go of the notion that sex is taboo and explore it as much as possible. To enjoy penetrative sexual experiences, you need to be comfortable with them. You need to know your body, your partner’s body, and how you can pleasure each other.
If possible, explore sex together. If not, go through it at your own pace, whichever way you’re comfortable.
Let go of Expectations
The first time won’t be anything like you see in the movies or porn. In fact, it can be messy, awkward, and you might need help figuring out what to do afterwards. But it can also be a lot of fun if you let go of the expectations set by mainstream media.
Everyone’s experience of sex is different and unique. Embrace it and have fun getting to know your new partner’s body.
Take a Shower
To help you feel comfortable, shower first and let the day go. Feeling clean and fresh can heighten the sensations and pleasure you both experience.
Here are some tips we have for you:
- Use a mild, fragrance-free soap to clean your genital area.
- Freshen your breath by brushing your teeth or using mouthwash.
- Wear clean and comfortable clothing, such as lingerie or pyjamas.
- If you prefer, groom or trim as you feel comfortable.
- While light scents can be pleasant, avoid strong perfumes, lotions, or colognes that could overwhelm the sensory experience.
Communicate and Make Them Comfortable
Wondering how to start sex during wedding night? Start by talking!
Open communication before, during, and after your intimate moments is a cornerstone of healthy and fulfilling experiences. Whether you’re having sex for the first time or the tenth time, discuss desires, boundaries, and expectations, such as:
- What are you looking forward to? It will ensure you’re both on the same page.
- Tell them which activities you’re not comfortable with. And respect their boundaries as well.
- It might be your wedding night, but it’s not a law to have sex that night. Ensure your partner is willing and enthusiastic.
- Ask for their consent, respect their wishes, and understand that consent can be withdrawn at any time.
- Discuss your sexual health and any relevant information about protection methods and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). People with penises must use a condom when engaging in penetrative sex to avoid STDs for themselves and their partners.
- Discuss how you envision the post-sex moments. Do they like cuddling, talking, or sleeping together?
- Discuss how you envision the post-sex moments. Do they like cuddling, talking, or sleeping together?
Check With your Partner
It's easy to get lost in the sensations and pleasures of the moments, but it is important to stay clued in with your partner.
Talk to them, observe their body language, and look into their eyes — this will tell you whether they’re enjoying or nervous. You might want to tweak your strategy depending on what their body is saying.
You could do the following:
- Check-in with your partner and ask if they are enjoying themselves.
- First-time sex can make one nervous. Keep a lube handy in case your partner needs help getting there.
- Ask to change the position if they’re uncomfortable or want to try something else.
Love Your Bodies
Many people struggle with their body image and compare themselves and their partners to unachievable standards. However, taking those expectations and standards in your sexual life can mark a perfectly good experience.
Creating a body-positive or body-neutral environment can foster a healthy and enjoyable sexual relationship. Here are some ways both partners can achieve this:
- Share your feelings and insecurities and what might make you more comfortable. For example, some people don’t like to turn on lights while having sex — respect their wishes and don’t berate their concerns.
- Compliment each other genuinely before, while, and after having sex. Focus on the things you love about each other’s bodies — put that attraction you feel in words.
- Acknowledge that it is okay to have imperfections.
- Stay present — focus on the sensations, physical and emotional connection.
Embrace vulnerability with your partner and allow yourself to be seen. The definition of beauty does not come from society; it comes from you
Take it Slow
It might sound surprising since you don’t want to lose the heat of the moment. But progressing slowly is a heartfelt choice that can transform your special evening into an unforgettable experience.
It will also help ease any pre-wedding nerves and ensure that both of you are emotionally present.
It will allow you to cherish the emotional connection that your wedding day signifies, fostering a deep bond beyond the physical act.
Flirt with Them
Gently nipping, playful bantering, and kissing allow you to build up to more intimate moments gradually. Plus, it can reduce stress and anxiety and provide a welcome escape from daily pressures.
You might know how to flirt, but here are some tips for your first or wedding night sex:
- Give them genuine compliments about their qualities.
- Engage in lighthearted banter if they’re nervous.
- Look into their eyes — it can be incredibly intimate and build anticipation.
- Whisper sweet nothings and intimate thoughts, and watch how the environment changes.
- Lightly touch them on their arm, hand, or back during conversations to communicate your desire.
When it comes to foreplay:
- Create a sensual atmosphere with scented candles, soft sheets, and chocolates.
- You want to go slow. Explore their body with your tongue, fingers, and caresses.
- Kiss passionately and explore several kissing styles if you want.
- Focus on each other, and ignore all the other distractions. Now would be the perfect time to switch off that phone.
- Speak with your partner and consider using playthings or honeymoon playkits for enhanced pleasure.
Remember to approach these moments with care, empathy, and a positive attitude towards their desires and bodies.
Lube It Up
Lubrication plays a crucial role in sexual experiences, whether for the first time or at any other point.
It’s true that when we’re aroused, our bodies naturally release various juices, but using a sex lubricant keeps things comfortable. Without it, your partner might experience discomfort and irritation. Plus - and this is the best part – using a gel lubricant can heighten sensations and reduce the risk of your condom breaking. So no matter how aroused you are from all that flirting and foreplay, lube it up!
Aftercare Is the New Love
You’ve had the amazing night of your life and simply want to give in to the sweet lullaby of sleep and heightened emotions. But hey, after-sex hygiene is essential and takes less than a few minutes.
It can help prevent urinary tract infections (UTIs) and other infections resulting from the introduction of bacteria into the genital area. Unsexy but true.
So, what should you do? Here are some tips:
- Pee to flush out any potential bacteria that may have entered the urinary tract.
- Use a gentle soap to clean your genital areas. Be kind to your body and avoid harsh soaps.
- Gently pat the area dry.
- Change the bedding or sleep somewhere else. We hear a couch makes for a nice cuddling spot.
- You’ve both lost a lot of body fluids, so drink some water.
- Dispose of your condom or condoms, depending on how awesome a time you had. Flushing them down the toilet is unsafe.
If you’re worried this could affect your intimacy, do it with them! Allow them to wash and pat you dry.
Engaging in post-sex hygiene is a vulnerable moment. Embrace it as a time to care for yourself and celebrate your body. And then you can go ahead and cuddle.
From first-night sex to many nights!
Whether you’re new to sex or experienced, the key to a fantastic first night of sex is communication, consent, and a lot of fun. So say goodbye to unrealistic expectations and open yourself up to pleasure. This is about your unique journey, connection, and shared moments of bliss. And don’t forget to prioritise safety to avoid unplanned surprises. Condoms are a must!
