How to Have Anal Sex: A Guide for Backdoor Explorers

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How to Have Anal Sex: A Guide for Backdoor Explorers

Nervousness, anxiety, and hesitance - are usually the feelings when anal sex is first introduced in a relationship. It's pretty natural to experience apprehension, given its unfamiliarity. However, ancient texts offer a contrasting perspective to anal sex, portraying it as a more intimate and pleasurable experience than regular sex. Contemporary studies too reveal a remarkable shift, with over 10% of sexually active individuals now embracing anal sex—a substantial increase from the mere 1% reported in 1993.

So if you are too open to ride the wave and work your butt off, this guide will help you and your partner explore uncharted territory with confidence and comfort.

Remember the key to good anal sex lies in open communication between partners, caresses, kisses, and gentle holding. If you can't do any of it, it's better to steer clear of this territory

What is anal sex?

Simply put, anal sex is a form of intimate exploration where one person's penis, fingers, or sex toy is inserted into another person's anus for pleasurable stimulation. Preferences vary—some find it enjoyable, while others don't, and that's perfectly fine. It shouldn't define a relationship's success. What matters is mutual understanding and comfort.

Forcing it on your partner is never a good idea. You both must be equally willing to explore the unexplored to enjoy the experience fully. Anal sex should feel comfortable at all levels - physically and emotionally - regardless of who you are doing it with.

Communication, consent, condoms, and proper lubrication are crucial when engaging in anal sex to ensure both you and your partners can have a safe and enjoyable experience - this brings us to our next topic in this guide - how do you prepare for anal sex?

How to prepare for anal sex: what you need to set the mood 

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Without a doubt, preparing for anal sex is key to a satisfying back-door excursion. Unlike vaginal or oral sex, anal sex cannot be had on a whim. Here’s how to set the mood and create the best possible booty sexperience.

Prioritise consent

First things first, all kinds of sex require consent. Whether you're doing it for the first time or the umpteenth time, seeking enthusiastic consent is paramount.

We can't emphasize enough how important it is to communicate openly. Regardless of who initiates the conversation, both partners should have the freedom to express their desires and apprehensions. The more you share, the better it will be for your sexual relationship. And a good relationship ensures smooth and pleasurable plays.

Remember, engaging in non-consensual anal sex can destroy trust in your relationship. If consent isn't there, respect their choice and explore alternative ways of intimacy. Solo explorations can also provide an outlet if your desires don't align with your partner's at that moment.

Lube. Lube. Lube

Butts don't self-lubricate - so always keep a bottle of lube handy. This minimizes the risk of anal tears and infections and makes anal sex an orgasmic experience for everyone involved.

For anal sex, choose a silicone lubricant because it has a thicker consistency and stays wetter for longer. It’s safe to use with condoms too. However, silicone lubricant should never be used with silicone personal devices, as it will cause the material to degrade.

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When playing with silicone devices, use a water-based sex lubricant instead.


Condoms aren't optional

When it comes to anal sex, many people tend to forgo using condoms due to the absence of pregnancy risks.

Even if that's your reason for indulging in anal sex, skipping condoms is a big NO. In fact, anal sex carries a greater risk of infections and health concerns than vaginal intercourse. You can absolutely transmit STDs and STIs through anal sex. So make sure you have condoms before you communicate the idea to your partner.

Now you might be wondering, which condoms are compatible with anal play? All condoms come with pre-lubrication and can be safely used for anal sex. However, ribbed condoms and dotted condoms are particularly liked by butt enthusiasts because of the extra sensations they offer.

 Extra Rib

 Use anal-safe personal massagers

 A 2016 study highlighted how emergency rooms are seeing an increasing trend in retained rectal foreign bodies. The most commonly retained foreign bodies, according to the study, are personal massagers that were not designed for anal play.

Yes, you got that right! The wrong intimate device can get lost inside the rectum. 

Anal play can be a whole lotta fun if you have the right toys. To begin with, look for the term "flared base". The flared base keeps them in place and prevents them from getting lost. Devices with rigid curves, butt plugs, and beads also add extra stimulation.

Take it slow

"How difficult can it be to just slide and glide in the big A-zone?” most first-timers wonder. While it might feel tempting to jackhammer right away, there's absolutely no shame in starting slow.

Quick Tip:
The inside of the rectum is not straight and generally holds a lot of tension. A gentle massage with two fingers or a light vibration can help the muscles open up and make some space for further penetration. Help your partner relax, and if something hurts, stop

Pre-game with the right food

Anal sex after an exuberant dinner date? You might want to reconsider. It’s common and perfectly natural for people to soil themselves during anal sex. But if you really want to prevent this from happening, eat the right food before you "bottom."

TikTok Star and the Founder of The Bottom's Digest, Chef Alex Hall, made a viral video on the bottom-friendly menu for people considering "bottoming". The star chef recommends eliminating dairy and introducing fiber-rich foods to nix the risk of poop on the very first date with the rectum.

Find the perfect space

Needless to say, you must plan your first encounter with the "ass" in a private and comfortable space. It should be free from potential interruptions or distractions and have the ambience of love.

But you know what's most important? Make sure you have all your supplies at arm's length so you don't have to leave the arena before the end game. 

How to have anal sex: important tips for beginners

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Now that your preparations are complete, here are some tips for amazing anal sex. From ensuring proper lubrication to maintaining hygiene, every aspect demands your careful consideration.

Start with foreplay

The biggest mistake you can make is to force enter the butt-hole, which can hurt the partner on the receiving end. This can lead to injury and a bigger chance of contracting infections and STDs.

Foreplay is akin to the warm-up before the workout in the gym. Just as skipping the stretching increases the risk of injury during the final showdown, bypassing foreplay can lead to discomfort or complications. Need we say more?

Massage and warm up the anus before entering the door. There are a bunch of muscles around your rectum that can be pretty tight if you're not fully relaxed. Hence, it's worth spending about 10 to 15 minutes releasing the tension in the booty muscles. Try something like finger stimulation, deep breathing, and lots of comfort talk to begin with.

Listen and communicate

It can be tricky to communicate while having anal sex, as you won’t be facing each other. Stay attuned to your partner’s body language and pay attention to their reactions during the experience. If anal sex hurts to the extent that the receiving partner cries in pain - stop everything immediately. When done correctly, anal sex should not be painful.

You can also pause and ask how they’re feeling before continuing. Words such as "Perfect," "Slow down," or "STOP" should be taken seriously when uttered by the person at the receiving end.

Never cross-pollinate

The adventure of anal play can be short-lived, especially for first-timers, and the temptation to return to their hometown is real. But hold your horses - pause and never switch from butt to vagina.

The rectal canal houses all kinds of bacteria that are best kept away from all private parties. Another mistake most people make is trying to enter the anus after overstimulated vaginal intercourse.

In both scenarios, thorough cleansing beforehand is imperative to maintain hygiene and comfort.

Clitoral stimulation helps

For people with vaginas, the clitoris is the spot that needs some love. Stimulating the clitoris while receiving anal sex can enhance pleasure.

While the exact location of the clitoris varies from person to person, some people can feel it when they run their fingers on the front vaginal wall. So go on, peak the arousal in the home ground as you enter the back door.

Try different positions for anal sex

Anal sex provides a different kind of fullness that can be attained with the right positions. All anal sex positions are great - but you need to find the ones that best work for you and your partner. Here are the top 3 recommendations for beginners

Lap dance position

When it comes to anal sex for beginners, the "Lap Dance" position offers a great blend of simplicity, connection, and heightened stimulation. Engaging in the Lap Dance anal sex position is surprisingly easy. One partner reclines comfortably in a sitting position, while the other straddles them, facing away. This setup allows unrestricted access to the anal region, as well as minimizes any potential mess.

Lazy doggy

Also commonly known as Lying Doggy, this position ensures intimacy, comfort, and easy access, making it a perfect choice for couples seeking shallow penetration in the initial days.

In the Lying Doggy position, both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction. The receiving partner, typically the one with the penetrating role, curls their body behind the other partner, embracing them closely. This creates a snug fit and allows for intimate contact while enabling penetration.

While the Lying Doggy position is known for its slower and more sensual pace, partners can still experiment with different angles and depths to find the sensations that resonate best.

Reverse cowgirl

A popular and adventurous anal sex position, the Reverse Cowgirl position can lead to exciting sensations and intensified pleasure for both partners.

In the Reverse Cowgirl position, the receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner while facing away. The receiving partner's back is positioned toward the front of the penetrating partner's body. This arrangement allows deep penetration and a clear view of the receiving partner's butt.

What to do after anal sex: hygiene and aftercare

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Great anal sex doesn’t stop when you exit the backdoor. These post-anal play tips ensure your well-being and build trust with your partner.

Prioritize proper cleaning

After anal play, thorough cleaning is essential. A warm shower or gentle cleansing with mild soap helps maintain hygiene and prevent potential discomfort.

Addressing injuries or discomfort

Take a moment to check for any signs of injury, and don’t be ashamed to seek medical attention if there are any tears or bleeding. 

Post-play discussion and cuddle session

Emotional aftercare is an integral part of the journey, promoting both physical and emotional satisfaction. Start an open and honest conversation with your partner while having a post-sex cuddle. Discuss your experience, share feedback, and address any emotions or thoughts that arise.

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FAQs about anal sex:

Does anal sex feel good?

Anal sex can offer pleasurable sensations for some individuals due to the high concentration of nerve endings in the anal area. However, preferences vary, and it's important to communicate openly with your partner to ensure both are comfortable and enjoying the experience.

Is anal sex painful?

Pain during anal sex can occur if not approached with care. Using proper lubrication, taking things slowly, and practicing relaxation techniques can minimize discomfort.

Does anal sex cause HIV?

Engaging in unprotected anal sex can increase the risk of HIV transmission due to the presence of mucous membranes that can easily tear during penetration. Using condoms and practicing safe sex methods significantly reduce the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Do girls like anal sex?

Preferences vary among individuals, regardless of gender. Some people enjoy anal play, while others may not find it pleasurable. Openly discussing desires, boundaries, and comfort levels with your partner is essential to ensure a mutually satisfying experience.