Getting to Grips With Sex
When it comes to sex, the first time could be scary for many. The most common fears include the possibility of pain, bleeding, if it will change things between the couple or the chance of going wrong.
The key to enjoying however lies in being relaxed, happy with your partner, and most of all feeling secure. Communication helps too, sharing feelings, fears and concerns can help establish boundaries (eg. We will only do it if we use protection.). Knowing a person better also ensures that it won’t end badly, knowing what each partner wants from the relationship is a good way to establish a strong sexual chemistry.
A good way to start the whole process is foreplay. Activities such as oral sex or just playing with each other’s bits and parts helps both partners get aroused. While the vagina begins to lubricate, its muscles relax, allowing ease of entry. While it is common for men to come during foreplay itself, but that’s not always a bad thing, doing so makes guys last longer eventually during sex. (However, it is important to wash one’s hands before wearing the condom after ejaculating.).
One thing to keep in mind while losing your virginity for the first time, is that STIs and pregnancy can occur the first time itself, this is why it is imperative to use protection and have sex responsibly.
It’s always recommended that the man and the woman both carry condoms. For men however, a little practice in wearing one beforehand can avoid a little awkwardness that might follow. It also helps to get familiar with the sensation and better judge the perfect size required.
Take it slow! While it may feel more dominating to be on top for the man, initially if the woman comes on top, it becomes easier for her to manage things at her desired pace. This could reduce pain and avoid the chance of bleeding.
One can also use lubricants, although, if the vulva is completely dry, it could be an indication that she may not be ready for sex. At that point, it is perfectly OK to refuse – even if you've already started having intercourse. With that in mind, if you're not ready, make sure you tell your partner. Inevitably, losing your virginity is something you will never forget. So trust and respect will make this memory a good one.
"Mutual trust, affection and respect will help make losing your virginity the happiest memory possible."