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The Durex Guide to Having Sex for the First Time
Thinking of having sex for the first time? The decision to have first-time sex is a deeply personal one, and it’s normal to feel both nervous and excited. For many, this experience is as much about emotional readiness as it is about the physical act.
This article aims to provide a comprehensive guide to navigating the intricacies of first-time sex, with an emphasis on mutual consent, your physical safety, and having maximum fun.
In this article:
What is sex?
There is no ‘one way’ to have sex. Vaginal, oral, or anal intercourse, as well as kissing, touching, and masturbation, are all examples of sexual engagement. As everybody has their own likes and dislikes, what feels perfect for you may not be that way for someone else.
Though sex is an umbrella term, it is commonly defined in terms of ‘penetrative sex’ that involves insertion. To ensure both of you feel safe, use contraceptive methods such as condoms at the time of penetrative sex.
Before getting down to it, make sure you and your partner have provided enthusiastic consent for any form of sexual activity.
Don’t pay heed to a common misconception that sex can only be considered pleasurable if you experience an orgasm. Normalize not having an orgasm during first time sex- It is very natural! Having said that, remember you can always have incredible sex with or without an orgasm.
Busting myths about first-time sex
Prepping up to set out on your long journey of passionate sexual experiences? Watch out for myths about sex in India that cause unnecessary anxiety or lead to unwanted consequences:
Myth 1: First-time sex is extremely painful for women
You must be wondering do women go through excruciating pain while having first-time sex? Every woman's body acts up differently and each experience is unique. Sex is all about pleasure and not pain. You may feel some discomfort but there are numerous ways to ease it.
Using lube, indulging in foreplay and communicating openly with your partner while having sex helps to overcome any sort of awkwardness and discomfort.
Myth 2: You can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex
Unprotected sexual intercourse can cause pregnancy, even if it is your first time. Not to forget, relying on contraceptives like withdrawal methods has high failure rates.
Withdrawal method is the practice of pulling out right before ejaculation. It is highly possible that you may not be able to manoeuvre right in time. Hence, this method is not enough to prevent pregnancy. Use condoms not only to avoid pregnancy but to ensure safe sex.
It is possible for anyone to have contracted STIs in ways other than sexual activity. Hence, even if it is the first time sex for both you and your partner, use condoms for safety. Condoms reduce the risk of many types of STIs.
Myth 3: All women bleed during first time sex
Does vaginal bleeding happen when the hymen breaks during penetration? Practically, the hymen stretches and does not break.
Many women tend to bleed during physical activities like cycling or exercising. Though there are women who bleed during first time penetrative sex, not bleeding is just as normal.
Myth 4: Using Condoms during sex reduces pleasure
Do condoms reduce pleasure during penetrative sex? Extra thin condoms are available in the market that maximizes pleasure and feels like skin. The Durex real feel condom provides enhanced sensations while being effective against pregnancy and STIs.
How to prepare for first-time sex
Wondering where to start? Here are a few first time sex tips that will help you prepare for sex. Dive in to make the best out of your first experience.
1. Build trust and communicate openly with your partner
Communicating with your partner makes it easy to address each other's needs and desires. Open dialogue before your first time sex will make your relationship feel safe, close and secure.
Feel free to talk about your sexual likes and dislikes in bed. It gives you a chance to explore and enhance pleasurable experiences.
2. Establish consent with your partner
Enthusiastic consent is key! It should be a clear 'Yes'! Make sure neither you nor your partner feel the pressure of jumping into your first sexual experience. Rather take your time and decide with ease. This will build trust and emotional connection.
3. Set the stage for a stress-free experience
Location advances great first time sex. It does not have to be essentially romantic or ideal. Rather focus on finding a safe and comfortable spot that makes both of you feel secure.
Surroundings influence your mood. Make sure you have ample private time to avoid rushing into things. A quiet setting will help you to relax and dive into moments of pleasure.
4. Prepare what you need for safe sex
It goes without saying that you must use condoms to protect yourself and your partner from STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Before the big night, practice wearing a condom so you can ensure correct placement and fit.
Not sure which condom to get? Try different kinds of condoms to see which one feels the most comfortable and pleasurable.
Next, bring some lubricant to make your first time sex seamless, comfortable and pleasurable. Lube reduces friction and makes penetration super smooth. It also reduces the risk of condoms breaking, which is a double win! Just make sure you use only water-based lubricant or silicone-lubricant; oil-based lubricant makes condoms break down.
What happens during sex?
Excited at the thought of sex but confused about how to do sex for the first time? Here are a few elements that you can expect to be a part of the process. Feel free to experiment!
1. Foreplay
Foreplay brings along with it sexual arousal which leads to incredible sex. During vaginal intercourse, the vagina expands on being aroused and oozes natural lube that levels up pleasurable sensations. You can also use lube on your partner's vulva and clitoris for a stimulating experience.
Slathering and massaging a few drops of lubricant on the penis can cause an erection. Other sexual activities like kissing, massaging and nibbling turn on the heat. Good foreplay makes first time sex painless and easy.
2. The intercourse process
If you are heading for vaginal intercourse, make sure to use a best-fitting condom before penetration.
Experiment candidly with your partner to find out which sex position works best for you. There is no such thing as one "perfect" posture for everyone. Only you, with the support of an affectionate partner, can discover what feels most intimate and joyful.
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During penetration, if you are in control, try to communicate with your partner whether it is feeling comfortable, how deep to go and when to ease. Do not rush into sliding in but take it slow. Put the head of the penis first and check if it is feeling right before moving deeper. Let both your bodies get used to the new sensations.
3. Orgasms are not everything!
An orgasm is a response that takes place when you are actually aroused and can no longer hold the erotic build-up. It is caused by sexual stimulation. Men ejaculate and women feel vaginal wall contractions during orgasm.
It does not occur all the time, and it's perfectly normal for it to not take place when you have sex for the first time. You can enjoy sex with or without having an orgasm.
What happens after sex?
Thinking of what happens when you have sex for the first time? Post-sex creates a feel-good state of mind. Here are a few tips on how you can make the best of this time.
1. Cuddling and emotional care after sex
After First sex is a time when both of you may feel extremely vulnerable. Cuddling after sex releases oxytocin, popularly known as the bonding hormone and dopamine. These hormones make you feel emotional and positive. Physical intimacy after sex grows your bond fonder with your partner.
2. Encourage dialogue with your partner
Have a frank conversation about how you felt, your performance, your experience and what you liked the most. Expressing and sharing your thoughts will help you ease and connect emotionally. Talking about your sexual experience leaves room for focusing on things that turned out best for you and your partner.
3. Understand that it's fine even if the experience wasn't perfect
Honestly, performance anxiety is quite natural! Don’t psych yourself out if the experience did not turn out to be what you expected. Remember, there is no 'perfect' way to do sex. Penetrative sex is also about how well your bodies get used to each other.
Understand that you can get better at it in upcoming times. Don’t forget to use the right language while communicating 'what needs to be better' to your partner. Instead of 'You didn't' or 'You Should Have', you can use 'I Feel' or 'For me' to focus on a positive approach.
First-time sex tips for men
It is normal to feel performance pressure whether you are having sex for the first, second or nth time. Take your mind off the idea of perfect and let things flow naturally. Here are a few tips to make your first time sex seamless and smooth.
1. Set realistic expectations - real sex isn’t like porn
Let go of imagining having sex exactly the same way porn stars do. Remember, pornography is staged and choreographed, whereas real sex is messy and full of surprises.Take it easy! Lose yourself in the moment and focus on experiencing and giving pleasure.
2. Come prepared with lubricant
For many first-timers, anxiety and self-consciousness can affect the body’s natural lubrication, which can cause discomfort or pain. Keep a bottle of quality sex lubricant by the bed in case this happens!
Adding a few drops of silicone-based or water-based lubricant enhances comfort and pleasure for a truly memorable first time. Lubricant also protects delicate tissue from micro-tears, and reduces the risk of condoms breaking.
3. Check in with your partner while having sex
Take the weight off your shoulders trying to replicate movie scenes where partners do not talk while having sex but just moan. Checking with your partner from time to time while penetrating or changing positions will help you relax and enjoy the ride. This way you can ensure your partner is comfortable the whole time.
4. Take time to enjoy rather than rushing to climax
If you find yourself thinking about the next steps while being in action. Take a moment to clear your head. Focus on the moment of enjoying rather than worrying about moving to the next step. Let things flow naturally. Taking time and not hurrying about orgasms makes sex more pleasurable.
First-time sex tips for women
Take your time to explore your body and prepare yourself according to what feels best. Here are a few first-time sex tips to ensure you and your partner have a safe and pleasurable experience.
1. To shower or not?
It is a great idea to take a shower prior to sex if you want to cut some slack and feel relaxed. Get your head off scary thoughts like- Is it going to pain a lot? Are you going to bleed? What If it does not turn out to be the way you expected?
However, it is quite beneficial to shower after sex from a wellness point of view. Use warm water to clean your genital area and anus. This restricts germs causing UTIs from spreading to the vagina. But no douching - it opens the way for more infections.
2. Feel free to experiment with positions but take things slow
You can try out positions like missionary and spooning that help your body get along with the first time sex without feeling the force. Avoid deep thrusting in the beginning. Give it some time and go slow! Being gentle reduces friction and chances of pain. It is ok to stop and start over again. Make sure to communicate this to your partner.
3. Set the mood right
If there is anything special that you have always wanted for the first time, go for it. From scented candles to dreamy lingerie, opt for anything that makes you feel sensual and relaxed. Make sure to include your partner's preferences while prepping for the first time.
Durex products that can make your first time-fun
Though there is no rulebook on ‘how to enjoy first time sex’, there are many playful products you can use for an amazing first night. Here is a handpicked list of Durex products to use for a slick and safe first sexual encounter.
1. Durex Real Feel Play Kit
This real-feel play kit is your one-stop go-to for a sensational first-time sex experience. It contains 10 Real Feel condoms in a pack. The real-feel condoms are latex free and lubricated to make your first time sex extra special.
The kit has a raw sensuality game of blindfolding your partner and acting according to a card they pick. It will make things interesting and help you get comfortable with each other.
2. Durex Playthings Turn On Card Game for Couples
If you’re feeling a little shy, break the ice with a little game. The new Durex Turn On is a 60-card deck that elevates the classic truth or dare to thrilling new heights. Each card has a thought-provoking question and audacious dare that ensures laughter, blushes, and an unforgettable first night. Play responsibly and remember: consent and comfort come first!
3. Steamy Weekend - Durex Nights of Passion Box
The kit is a dream curation of everything you need for an ultimate night of adventures. It has four different types of condoms- Mutual Climax, Extra Thin, Ribbed and Flavoured for a range of euphoric sensations. Make use of the intimate lube to glide into ecstasy. It ensures smooth sex and is a perfect pick for first-timers.
FAQs about first-time sex
1. Does sex hurt the first time?
First-time Sex may feel uncomfortable due to friction. However, you can use lube to make the experience smooth and painless.
2. Is it normal to bleed after first time sex?
Yes, bleeding is absolutely normal after the first time sex which occurs due to stretching or tearing of the hymen.
3. How long does sex last?
The average sex time is between 3 to 7 minutes. However, it varies across individuals.
4. Can you get pregnant after having sex for the first time?
Yes, If you have unprotected sex, you have a chance of getting pregnant even after first-time sex.
