10 Things You Must Never Do When You Have Sex for the First Time
As they say, first experiences hold a special place. Intimacy is a significant milestone in any relationship, deepening both the physical and emotional connection between partners.
Regardless of your relationship status - be it single, in a committed partnership, or on the brink of marriage - the prospect of the first intimate encounter can trigger a flurry of questions.
Below, we've outlined 10 things you should steer clear of if you're aiming for your first experience to be enjoyable, satisfying, and unforgettable.
In This Article:
Expect Sex To Be Like Porn
The biggest mistake young couples make, especially during wedding night sex, is having unrealistic expectations of the first-time sex. Many of us still get our ideas about sex from movies and/or romantic porn videos. It’s important to remember that off-screen sex is very different from on-screen sex. Real-life sex can be confusing, messy, awkward, and most importantly, unscripted - but deeply satisfying.
Forget about trying complicated sex positions or expecting instant arousal. Instead, aim to have “good enough sex” – the kind of sex that’s positive and realistic. The key to a healthy and happy sex life is to laugh off the awkwardness, have a great time despite the imperfection, and try again another day.
Consent is the foundation of any relationship. It is essential to respect your partner's boundaries and any "no" and "stop" they say. Also, be on the lookout for non-verbal hints of discomfort or wanting to stop. Communication is key so make sure you keep checking in with your partner to ensure they are comfortable, are having a good time, and want you to keep going.
Consent - When you ask without an expectation of how your
partner will respond
Ignore the Body
Before getting intimate for the first time, you should explore and know your body for a better experience. This will help you to know your pleasure points, your sexual preferences, and what makes you climax. Masturbation is a good way to explore yourself to learn more about what works for you and what doesn't.
Maintaining sexual health is very important when engaging in any sexual activity. Our genitals are sensitive areas, and you can get infected with any transmitted diseases, yeast infections, or pubic lice if there is poor hygiene.
Always share your thoughts with your partner regarding hygiene and use protection. To avoid infections, it is a good idea to wash your hands and your genitals before getting intimate with your partner.
Skip the Foreplay
All good sex starts with good foreplay. Foreplay allows you to set the mood and make both you and your comfortable and ready for the next step.
The first time can be nerve-wracking for people and engaging in foreplay helps calm those nerves and create a comfort zone. Use your hands, mouth, and tongue to explore your partner's body and learn their erogenous zones.
You can take it a step further by using Durex Playthings first to create an even more erotic experience.
Feel Pressured To Have Orgasm
It's also completely normal to not have an orgasm while having sex, whether for the first time or the tenth time. Orgasm isn't and should not be the end goal of the sexual experience. Having sex is about getting closer and more intimate with your partner. Pressuring yourself or your partner to achieve climax can lead to unnecessary tension and may affect the mood and experience. Go slow and enjoy the process rather than focusing on the orgasm only.
Not Using Condom
Using condoms as protection is an absolute must whenever you are engaging in a sexual act with your partner. Even if it’s your honeymoon sex, protecting yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancy is crucial to having safe sex. Therefore, as a responsible partner, always make use of condoms while having sex.
Leave Out the Lubricants
Not everyone can produce natural lubrication during sex, which may lead to discomfort. Thus, choosing the right sex lubricants is essential for enhancing pleasure and comfort. No matter how turned on you may be, you or your partner may still experience dryness and friction that can hamper your pleasure and enjoyment. Use a water-based or silicone-based lubricant for a comfortable and enjoyable experience.
Judge Your Partner
Never judge your partner based on their physical attributes or their past sexual experiences. Everybody looks different and you should ensure that you make your partner feel comfortable in their skin. Moreover, everyone has a past, but that should not change your present moment. You may choose to be open and discuss your past with your partner, but it is not acceptable to judge them based on it. Your first time should just be about you and your partner and what brings you both the most pleasure.
Forget Cuddling and Aftercare
When the deed is done, don't forget to check in on your partner and see if they feel safe and well. Aftercare shows that you respect and care about your partner beyond the physical act. It’s as simple as cuddling with them, sharing your thoughts, and making an emotional connection.
Give it a go…
Indulging in sensual and exciting sex is great and can be overwhelming; however, you should always remember that having sex for the first time is nerve-wracking for almost everyone. To have a seamless and memorable experience, make note of the things to avoid when you have sex for the first time.